U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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