Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
