The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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