Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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