I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just pee around me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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