See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
