Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
