don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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