Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He shit in the fireplace
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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