This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
