I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There was a lot of him and a little penis
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Come on in and take your pants off
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