We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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