Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
