i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
