I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
a search helicopter?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
