I hope mine doesn't look like that
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
