That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
