Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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