Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
