The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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