If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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