I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
