So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
