is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
