DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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