The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is Oprah even human
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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