Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
