so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
