"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
