I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
