I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
