College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
