Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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