I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
