its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
