I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She bit a glass in half.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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