She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
