But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
