i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
