I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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