and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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