Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
