the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
