i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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