it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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