It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
