I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
