Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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