Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Im part way to drunk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
