oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
